Healthy Relationship Balance

Just like someone would create a system in order to collect Rain water for their use rather than simply allowing it to run into a sewer, there is another “current” or energy to collect. Relationships. “If” people were mindful enough, they could build a Sanctuary with each other. A Place to be supported, to recharge. People to whom we can turn to rest, to take Refuge. But that needs to be cultivated. It needs to be “constructed” by people who have the smarts to see. When people are present enough they can utilize the energy of relationships, contain the energy of emotions like rain water or wind energy.
 I’ve been exposed to dysfunctional relationships for too long in my life to the point where, for the sake of health, I cannot and will not tolerate anymore. I hear too many people talking about Vitamins, eating right, Organic veggies, Tangy Tangerine, colloidal silver but I don’t hear as often people talking about healthy relationships. Stefan Molyneaux speaks about Non Aggressive families, and parenting. Raising my glass to him. A real man speaking out on nonaggression. People who are actually respectful towards each other, mindful of the way they treat and speak to each other, careful about the way they speak to and treat their own child so as to not use the child as their garbage can. If we are not mindful enough to realize what’s right in front of us, to realize that every moment we are creating our future (even if by default). When we are PRESENT all of life becomes like clay on a pottery wheel. We have the potential to make whatever we desire. When we are not aware of this we do not understand the power we have but, something will be created regardless. Whether with mindful intention or unconscious default, we’re creating a future either way.
 I had had enough at such a young age of dysfunctional, abusive, unhealthy relating that I started trying to teach myself and learn better, more healthier ways of interacting. I wanted NOTHING more in my life than to have supportive, caring, respectful, loving people around me. People who have the abundance to Give, who can “afford” to share their health and decency rather than what I was surrounded by growing up; poverty minded people, emotionally poor people, people with No self worth or healthy sense of themselves to treat me like I was wanted, like I was a gift, like I had value. If they couldn’t see me for the value that I was, that’s on THEM. That’s their blindness. I started reading any book I could get my hand on healthy relating, healthy/dysfunctional families. John Bradshaw and his PBS special on the Family was my favorite. It was such a relief to finally hear and see someone in plain language, using a mobile show how the members of a family interact and effect one another. How the Parents, as the “head” of the family, based on their level of health, effect and influence the roles of the children.
 I think of someone’s body and their physical “posture”; are their shoulders rounded and hunched over? Are their hips level and balanced or do they have a sway back? Do they have scoliosis? So, where ever parents are in their emotional “posture”, the children will reflect them. The entire Family IS a System of parts just like the body interacting either in a balanced healthy way, or an imbalanced, unhealthy way. The parents, having either tight constricted emotions or slacking, complacent emotions will create the opposite condition in the child. The child will, quite Literally, be a mirror reflection. So the same way rounded, weak shoulders and upper back creates a tight, collapsed chest, emotionally absent or permissive parents will create a child who is fearful or clingy. The relationship between the parents is also a huge influence. Whether or not the parents have a satisfying, healthy partnership and getting their own needs met or whether the parent(s) are unfulfilled then using a child as a Surrogate spouse.
 No matter how we look at it,, the direction of flow of energy should Always be from parent to child, not the other way around. Children are not supposed to be feeling responsible for the parent. The parent needs to be in a constant mode of giving and being there FOR the child. If at any time the child feels this turning around and the unhealthy needs of the parent puts the child’s needs in the back seat, it starts the pattern of a very dysfunctional pattern. It becomes the reason why the Country/world is in the state of Debt that it’s in and we’ve allowed the Powers that Be keep us in a perpetual state of child-like. Parents treat their children the way the System Wants! Parents, unconsciously, are passing down the Crony Capitalist system, by robbing and depleting Precious resources in their own children the way Corporations rob and steal Oil, gold, diamonds, trees, animals for profit! It’s all about Resources and keeping the “poor” or vulnerable in constant Debt. Starving children/people emotionally is the same thing as living on minimum wage. Suffocation, struggling

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