This post is a continuation of the previous post which I have a lot to say about.
I was very relieved when speakers on the panel talked about the effects of PTS. I’m leaving off the D because its not a disorder, its a normal response from the body to being pushed beyond its limits. Having control taken from it and being used to engage in unnatural, horrific, unjust acts.
PTS does not just happen to people in combat. I’ve studied PTS all my life and anyone having control taken from them can have it. People abused as children, prisoners, torture victims, witnesses to crimes, assaults and atrocities. Any time the nervous system is pushed beyond its ability to maintain control, like being distracted or cut off while driving.
I want to seriously drive this point home because I feel it’s extremely important. The way our bodies work is with the mind & body being connected, in sync, focused. Doing things together just like it is when we learn to walk or ride a bike. When some “authority” is giving us orders to do something that our bodies know is wrong and goes against our moral compass, the body is pushed into DEBT. It feels trapped because if we follow the orders we’re screwed And if we don’t we’re screwed because we “need” authority. We don’t have the leverage inside of ourselves to disobey those we consider “authority”. It’s the same exact mechanisms that goes on with children who are abused by parents. They need the parent, so challenging that parent and acknowledging that that parent is wrong or bad is equivalent to death for the child. The child feels it has to see the parent as good and themselves as bad.
Real authority should be teaching someone to gauge things for themselves, like teaching them to hit a baseball. It has to be found within. We can’t learn to ride a bike by some “authority” telling us to do it. We have to feel it viscerally for ourselves. That is the way nature works.
Just following orders that don’t align with our beliefs and don’t allow us the time to understand why or to make sense of it is allowing our bodies to be used, raped. When we are able to be in a situation where we’re able to regain our composure and the “bill” of what was done to us shows up, the body has to adjust to the injury. It’s very painful.
It can happen to anyone who loses focus, sleeps with someone after having too much to drink, having a fender bender while being distracted while driving. It can happen cumulatively over time while being distracted from feeling our feelings for decades. The equivalent to what a soldier might feel after being ordered to kill innocent civilians might take the average person decades to accumulate but amounts to the same thing when we feel we’re not living an authentic life by age 50. We ask ourselves, “how did I get here?” ” Who’s life am I living?”
The conflict and confusion it creates in the body when our gut is saying one thing and “authority” is telling us something else. If the 2 are opposing when they should be one in the same, there’s something wrong. True authority helps us align with ourselves, wants us to listen and develop our instincts and trust what we know and feel. Not the opposite. That is the sign of inauthentic “authority”. Trusting our gut and what the body says should be placed at the fore. Anything else is suspect. It becomes a very serious issue when people are not being properly raised. No one being there to emotionally give and teach young people to have emotional leverage, to be able to say “No” and not just bow to any one in “authority”. If there are no genuine people of authority teaching young people their rights and how to protect and stand up for themselves, then how will they be able to distinguish the difference between quality and poor “authority?”. If the young are not being taught right and raise to be fit, they will blindly obey anyone claiming to be in “power”.
Strengthening ones instinctual connection is imperative. Being mentally fit is fast becoming a necessity not a luxury.
I learned this early from growing up in an environment where “authority” was clearly not in my best interest.
My gut immediately kicked in and resisted like it should. To have that healthy response shamed or made to feel wrong is a huge injustice and what sets people up through out life to be victimized and have our Psych debt perpetuated.
Being forced to choose between feeling ones true feelings or listening to someone else, one should always listen to and trust their own gut. If the other person doesn’t like it then, they’re not worth having in your life but, How do we get that initial leverage when there’s no on there to give it to us?
Any relationship should allow people to be free to be themselves, not at the expense of. This is debt based relating which will only perpetuate til those involved are Emotionally, physically and Spiritually bankrupt. All relationships should help build and thrive. Not deplete and drain.