The Weinstein revelations,, A larger Abusive relationship, like the “family” I’ve tried speaking about since the 70’s

More and more I hear stories and reports of abuse and people having the same experiences that I and many other vulnerable, innocent children do in their own homes.

 I’m writing these blogs and making ‎video blogs on my youtube channel, April Watters, because I could not speak out about these issues for most of my life. Or, if you spoke it, I was guilted, shamed further, I was told to just “get over it”.

I’m writing this blog because people who are even more vulnerable than those abused by Harvey Weinstein do not get the attention‎ they so desperately need and deserve. People, adults today and many children who have it worse than I did, I am speaking out for. Child abuse and dysfunction in the “home” has long been too normalized.

The abusive “family” has spread like the wild fires and nothing has been done for millions of the most vulnerable who have no way to speak out. They become part of the problem.

Imagine this; those who are meant to give the innocent the support and leverage they require are the very ones preying on them instead. What is that creating? Like Climate breakdown, an human environmental disaster has been created for decades and those who are meant to be the future are being enslaved by very sick people. It happens on all levels.

Like deforestation, we have De Humanization. A total enslavement of the most vulnerable instead of those who have the support to go up against abuse of power, the succumb to it instead.

This is an environmental disaster on epic proportions. The women who have been abused by Weinstein speak of needing the job and not reporting being raped by Weinstein. A larger Abusive “family” scenario. With so many people being born to “familiesl , “parents” who can’t raised and teach their children to have some leverage and to resist those in power rather than bowing and “needing” them nature and health are being totally destroyed.

There are NO real adults!! No REAL mature, responsible humans and only adult children and preditors.

In an interview on Democracy Now Tomi- Ann Roberts described her encounter with Weinstein over 30 yrs ago when she was 20 in 1984, same age as myself, and the fight, flight or freeze response that occurs when faced with an abusive situation and person. She spoke about the psychological exit stradegy of putting the fault on herself who was not ready or up to what Weinstein wanted her to do.

This is the same Debt Economy I speak about and try to teach about the abusive “family”. So to not “poke the bear” as Tomi-Ann put it, she put the blame on herself to make her exit. This is what automatically happens to children in many abusive siutaions, not all. They “need” the person in power so they go into Debt and make the abuse their fault and bail out the abuser. This is such an important point for people to understand. The same as a body going into shock, the blood is taken from the parts of the body that the body can survive without, limbs, extremities, and send it to the parts the body can’t survive without like the heart, brain, lungs.

Due to our Disaster Capitalism system, this way of “relating” will continue to become the norm and accelerate like the wild fires in California.

A child is trapped in the situation of abusive “parents” and can’t leave unless someone intervenes. If not, the child’s energy and psyche are “bled out” and the child repeatedly puts the abuser over themselves thereby, “funding” their own abuse. Without someone there for the vulnerable, they will bleed out completely and be left with no sense of self. There body and soul will be taken over and used completely by the abuser‎. This is exactly what those in “power” want.

Louise Godbold expressed her experiences of assault by Weinstein and how she didn’t say anything because she felt it would be “career suicide” since she was trying to get a start in the film industry.

I just want to stop here and again point out the feeling of being trapped with no choice but to feel one has to put up with abuse if you want to pursue ones “dream”. Those in power take advantage of the dreams, aspirations and out right desperation of those trying to do what is their right in life to do,

I have to point out how this happens in “homes” by abusive “parents” exactly the same way. Sick people get off on having power and control over the vulnerable and take total advantage of the dependence of a person. In fact, the more someone in a “power” position knows that a person is vulnerable and despearte, the more likely they are to abuse the situation and the person. And that makes children a prime target.

The family, even if parents are not abusive but, lack the ability ‎to give their child leverage because they don’t have any creates desperate people primed to be abused and taken advantage of by the system. The firewall of Family has been eroded.

Due to growing up in abuse at an early age I was aware and on the look out for abuse where ever I went. I expected it since I was used to it and no relative or neighbor taught me otherwise. I was on my own; hypervigilant.

Louise Godbold was asked why women of assault carry the shame of the abuser. She responded by siting our societal conditioning, parenting and of being compliant.

This is what happens in “families” also. Children are trained to carry the psych debt of guilt & shame that does not belong to them from the toxic emotions of “parents” who use their own children the same way Weinstein did. ‎It’s all part of our debtors prison system. The same reason the Banks get Bailed out and the public gets Sold Out. People are not taught to stand up to abusers but to take on and carry the debt. There would need to be someone there for the vulnerable to teach them to stand up and give the shame back to the abuser.

It’s the emotional level of Texaco dumping pollution in the Amazon or the BP Oil spill.

Louise Godbold sited the Adverse Child Experience study and states that abused and traumatized children are more likely to be victimized later in life.

Louise stated that victims carry the shame because there is no one countering it. There’s no one on the victims side. Something I’ve been saying for decades.

She goes onto say how family and friends, thinking they’re giving you good advice tell you, don’t rock the boat and don’t get involved when that’s the opposite of what the abused need. They need leverage and encouragement to speak and stand up. It’s basic physics. An object or person in motion stays in motion unless acted on by an outside source. Weinstein gets all the momentum and clearing of the pavement for his abusive actions while those engaging in Right action get friction. It needs to be turned the other way around. ‎That takes conscious effort and work.

Louise spoke again about fight, flight or freeze and how we need to educate about trauma. What fight,flight,freeze illustrates is the level of human Climate Breakdown we’ve advanced to similar to polar bears having to swim longer to find ice.

We can’t allow abuse to be normalized.

Louise Godbold spoke of the healthy pain and anger that comes from not being believed for over 2 decades. ‎How she would have loved for someone to tell her that she was acting bravely in speaking out rather than being told to sit down and shut up, not to make any waves.

Well, people need to understand, we need the kind of waves made by those standing up against abussers and Not the waves made By the abuser!

Why do so many people make those standing up against abuse wrong and the abusers actions go unchallenged? I’ve asked this question for decades. Those around me seem to have the attitude that not standing up is going to solve problems when all it does is increase them. How did people get so disoriented and lacking in courage?

Irin Carmon expressed how courageous the women were who spoke out. ‎She spoke about Ronin Farrow’s attempts at getting this stroy of Weinsteins abuse published. She said the standard of corraborating stories is so high that it ends up revictimizing the victims. We have to ask ourselves why? Who is setting the standard? The abusers that’s why.

Irin Carmon said how Weinstein “bought off people who were an impediment to him”‎. This is what $ does. Creates a false reality disconneced from the real one because so many people put fake $ over truth and what’s right. Fake $ is creating a human climate breakdown because it is at the expense of real justice. It’s not just the earth’s climate being destroyed.

Irin said how Weinstein attended the women’s march in Utah and showed how people like Weinstein can use issues to cloak their misdeeds. Hiding their abuses in actions contrary to who they really are.

This is why I’ve practiced and talk about mindfulness, meditation and yoga which is all about looking close, paying attention and which is all about incorporating in nature’s process rather than skipping over it which is exactly what the $ system doesn’t want. Taking the time to look is the enemy of this system.

So, watch out for people who claim to be your allies, is her point. The same point I’ve been making about the abusive “family” for decades.

Then the co host of Democracy Now, Naimeen Scheike‎ read something written by Weinsteins secratary about the unequal power of herself in age and position as Weinstein. He a “10 and herself a 0”.

Again I want to get people to think about what abused children go through with their own “parents”. We simply do not hear about it and not enough is being done to deal with abuse in any environment. If older people and people in the spotlight are experiencing such blatant abuses, imagine what‎ horrible abuses children go through and have no way to express? I encourage people to watch Conspiracy of Silence banned Documentary on youtube.

“It’s the very abuse of power” that Weinstein liked in these scenarios, not that he liked pretty girls, Carmon said.

She then spoke of the actress, Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, who wore a wire for the NYPD and returned to Weinstein’s place to gain evidence ‎of harassment and got it only for the “prosecution”, Cy Vance to not prosecute Weinstein and receive 10k a couple of days later.

They are speaking about the exact issues children deal with everyday with abusive “parents” and have NO power to do anything about it. They are ground up by this system which lowers the bar for everyone else. Like human soil erosion.

I’m still trying to recover from trauma to this day. It’s a crisis that there is NO safe place and real help for vulnerable people who have been abused to go to. This is Nothing other than a Health Crisis and Psychological Climate Breakdown! It’s No different than destroying the planet. Plain and simple. If it isn’t countered, we will destroy ourselves.

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People are much more Ill than they realize

‎As uncomfortable as it is to hear, it must be said. I’ve lived it and been pointing it out for decades only to be beaten into submission by the very people who should be on my side.
 I can’t see how people are the least bit surprised or shocked by what’s taking place today since they’ve been the one’s funding all along.
 All I can share, as I’ve been, is my experience and what I witnessed. Not everyone of course, experienced what I experienced in the exact same way but, I do believe most people experienced it on some level. All the facts and evidence we’re living with today points to that fact.
 Example after example happening currently over and over ‎with this attack here and that death there is the macro cosm of the micro cosm I’ve tried to get people to see for 4 decades. The fact that those around you are too busy treating you like ‘what do you know, you’re only a kid’ proves it. The very people who should be there protecting and championing you the most are the very ones undermining and pulling the rug out from under you the most. I think many people, if they’re honest enough, can admit that their family of origin was less than healthy and supportive and yet, it gets minimized and the significance of what’s right in our faces gets overlooked. Meanwhile, this is what’s building up over time. People can’t even ‘see’ what they’re funding over time til it blows up in their face. And not even then.
 Last night on the radio show Organic News on http://awakeradio.us/ that I’ve been doing for 3 years next month I interviewed Jennifer Loewenstein of Penn U Middle Eastern Studies. She is just another person I’ve interviewed among people like Stephen Zunes, Dr Dahlia Wasfi, Miko Peled, Norman Solomon as well as others I’ve heard report on it on non mainstream news, that it’s the U.S. Who funds these so-called, ‘terrorists’ and pretends to be trying to eradicate it.
 The podcast for the interview will be on the Awakeradio1 youtube channel. I asked Jennifer Loewenstein about the U.S. Being in the Middle East for 15+ some-odd years now so, where’s the improvement? If things are getting worse and groups like ISIS are getting larger and more radicalized then,??? There’s your answer. The U.S. Should be held accountable for creating a humanitarian disaster.
 Before I veer off and lose focus, I want to go back to the ‘family’ system. The signs and symptoms are right in front of people that they are the ones screwing themselves and those around them while following a system that’s pushing them over a cliff.
 I was completely on my own starting from around 6 years old, is as early as I can remember. ‎The ‘family’ was not family. It was just called that. No one was on each others side. I KNEW at around that age, that I was being robbed and sold out and there was no one to turn to and nothing I could do about it except do my best fighting for my life by myself. I will forever have PTSD and watch out for anyone around me as the enemy because that’s who will, ultimately, be the source of my demise.
 What people don’t understand about growing up in dysfunctional or abusive environments is that it completely screws up your health. Your mind/body can’t possibly grow right when you are not getting your BASIC needs met. And I’m not talking about food, clothes and shelter. I’m talking about emotional, developmental needs.
 Today I watched a video on lowering the age of those who get imprisoned or put in solitary confinement . It was a video asking people to call a # to ask an Assembly person to lower the age of people in Solitary Confinement. 16 & 17 years Olds ‘treated like adults’ and placed, not only in jail but, in solitary. Angelo Pinto was desribing what it does to the psychological development of a young person of that age to be placed into these abusive environments. When a young person is still developing and they’re in these unsupportive and abusive environments it delays their development. The young are not equipt to be handling the stresses being put on them. A point I’ve been trying to bring to people for decades about the abusive family system and why kids need healthy parents. The system we’re living in is so sick and the majority of people go along with it and scapegoat the young and criminalize them when they should be being supported and raised.
 There are NO leaders! Everyone has sold out the youth and the future. The video said something about teaching these young people about ‘accepting responsibility for their actions’. If I were eating or drinking I would have spit my food all over after reading that. So these young people can ‘take responsibility?’ Give me a break! What ‘adult’ takes responsibility? What ‘leader’ in ‘power’ takes responsibility for their actions? The whole reason these kids exist is because there are NO REAL adults! No real leaders. Then they blame the youth for being the way they are and mirroring back to society it’s own reflection. That’s not complicated.  They’re treating these youth like garbage when the real garbage is the system that creates those to be discarded. Humans garbage? Do you really believe that an efficient system would create human beings to be treated like garbage? It’s the system and those who run it who are the garbage. Nature doesn’t make garbage. Only man does.
 I grew up the EXACT same way. I stood up to and exposed the illegit ‘parent’ when I was young. My body is simply having a normal reaction to the totally sick environment I was forced to live in. Instead of the ‘leaders’ looking at themselves and taking responsibility that THEY are the ones who Created ‎the mess, they defend themselves at the expense of their own child and use the child as the scapegoat. That’s happening all over the world on a larger scale. The ‘terrorist’ issue is that very concept. So is the situation I aired on Organic News last night with the Aunt of Akia Gurley, Hertencia Petersen, and the remarks that Commissioner Bratton made in response to the comments of Assemblyman Charles Barron who said at the press conf last Thurs., ‘violence is inevitable’. When the people are doing everything peaceful in standing up for their rights and the PTB are not hearing them. The system continues to want to treat the people like they’re garbage and don’t have value. When the nature inside of people is saying otherwise. Sooner or later things are going to blow. No one is above the laws of nature. Maybe that’s what the system wants. That’s what it does with ISIS and all the other problems it claims to want to solve. The reality is. There’s too much $ to be made and people value fake, man made $ over real value like human life.
 It is imperative that the people end this system that will surely kill them. ‎
 Instead of those around me helping me cultivate myself when I was young to be the best, smartest person I could be, they did the opposite. Not ONE adult stepped up to the plate to help me raise my self worth and self confidence. They did the opposite. Like the system, they don’t want you to be smart. They’re threatened by your smarts and spirit. They pull the rug out from under you, tell you your wrong when you’re right. They believe, like many cops and military do today, that they’re benefitting more by treating you like garbage than if they treated you well. That’s how ignorant people are. They don’t even realize that they benefit more by treating others well. They’re so immature and deficient in their development, they get off on having power over you and abusing it rather than treating you with the worth, value‎ & support you deserve. They bebefit more when they do this. But, they’re too ignorant. This is how the health and emotional/spiritual deficiency gets perpetuated. ‘Parents’ don’t have the emotional maturity and affordability to raise their children to their full capability. They only raise you enough to go along with a system that’s screwing them.
 I liken it to a farmer that grows beautiful tomatoes then stomping on the result instead of utilizing it and eating and selling them. ‎

Albert Woodfox, 43 years in Solitary,”Buddy Caldwell and Burl Cain made this case personal”

Albert Woodfox was released last Friday after spending 43 years in Solitary Confinement in a 6 x 9 ft cell for 23 hrs a day in Angola prison in Louisiana, longer than anyone in the history of the United States. Albert Woodfox was one of 3 black me arrested in the 60’s for being involved wit the Black Panther party. He went straight to his mothers grave because he wasn’t allowed out when she died. He also visited his sisters grave who died while he was behind bars.

Albert was serving a 5 year sentence for armed robbery when he and another inmate, Herman Wallace, were accused of stabbing a Corrections Officer in 1972 extending his sentence. Albert and Herman always maintained their innocence and said they were targeted for organizing a chapter of the Black Panther party in the prison, protesting against horrific prison conditions. Along with a 3rd man, Robert King, were known as the Angola 3. Amnesty International and other groups campaigned to free the 3 men. Woodfox was the last of the 3 men to be freed. Robert King was freed in 2001 when his conviction of murdering an inmate was overturned. Herman Wallace was freed in 2013, a few days before dying of cancer but, the state refused to free Woodfox until last Friday.

Woodfox’ first conviction was overturned and the state of Louisiana retried him successfully in 1998. A federal Judge ruled in 2014 that Woodfox should be freed on the grounds of racial discrimination in his retrial. Then, Attorney General, Buddy Caldwell planned to try Albert Woodfox again. U.S. middle court judge, James Brady, ordered Albert’s release based on 5 facts; Albert’s age and poor health, the unavailability to provide witnesses, “This court lacks the confidence of the state to provide a fair 3rd trial, The prejudice done onto Mr Woodfox by spending 40 years in Solitary Confinement, and finally, the very fact that Mr. Woodfox has already been tried twice and would otherwise face a third trial for a crime that occurred over 40 years ago.” The 5th circuit then approved continued detention for Albert.

Amy Goodman asks Albert Woodfox how it feels to be “Free”. That would mean that all of us out here are free and nothing could be further from the truth. Albert Woodfox might not be it literal prison but, he is still in the prison in his mind and in this larger prison called society.

Albert Woodfox was able to read in is cell which enabled him to maintain his focus and not be broken by being in solitary and stay in touch with the outside world. He read history books and books on Malcolm X, Dr King, & James Baldwin. Albert was allowed 2 visitors a month but, his family was unable to come too much due to distance.

A key witness in the “murder” of the Corrections Officer said he witnessed the murder but, who’s credibility was questionable. At first the witness said he wasn’t anywhere around and knew nothing about the murder. A couple of night later he was dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and interrogated under bright lights and told by the guards on night duty if he helped them crack the case they would get the “witness” his freedom. The “witness”, Hezakiah Brown, then said the killers were Wallace and Woodfox.  Hilton Butler, a former Warden, is heard on tape saying that “you could words in Hezakiah Brown’s mouth.

Albert Woodfox stated that at that time he and Herman Wallace were very active in the prison organizing resistance around the corruption in the prison such as brutal beatings, and killings. It’s ironic that those organizing against brutal beatings and killings, even of the guard, are the ones blamed for killing the guard and put into CCR. Even the wife of the guard said she did not believe Woodfox and Wallace killed her husband. She said “It’s time the state stop acting like there’s any evidence that Albert Woodfox killed Brent. After years of looking at the evidence and soul searching and praying I realized I could not believe what I was told to believe by a state that did not take care of Brent while he was working at Angola and did not take care of me when he was killed”, Teenie Rodgers.

Long time Angola Warden Burl Cain said he would keep Woodfox in lockdown regardless of his crimes since, “I know he’s still trying to practice Black Pantherism”.

Albert Woodfox, “BURL CAIN AND BUDDY CALDWELL MADE THIS CASE PERSONAL. SO PERSONAL TO THE POINT WHERE THEY TOTALLY DISREGARD CONSTITUTION, STATUTORY LAW, DUE PROCESS, LACK OF EVIDENCE. THEY JUST DECIDED I WAS GUILTY, HERMAN WAS GUILTY AND KEEP US IN JAIL UNTIL WE BOTH DIED. Unfortunately, they almost succeeded. As tragic as it was to lose Herman, he died a Free man”.

And Might I add,, This is EXACTLY how this ENTIRE country is run! People in “power”, from “Parents” to “Presidents”, Corporations and bankers (but corporations and banks are not in power to protect and raise the people), doing what ever they want irregardless of laws, truth, justice and facts.

I am so compelled to write after hearing stories like this because it’s the same situation I felt and experienced growing up in my house as a child. I’m not going to stop writing about my upbringing because I had no voice for so long, was silenced exactly like Albert Woodfox, Robert King and Herman Wallace not because of any facts, truth or evidence but, because of people abusing their power and making situations personal.

My story is very similar except it happened with people who are supposed to be family. I naturally protested in my house about the unacceptable conditions of domestic violence, stress and abuse I was forced to live with as a child. I’ve written about it on a previous blogs and have to write about it over and over to plead my own case of feeling guilty since I’m 8 years old for standing up for myself and needing those in “power” to do their jobs and at least make an attempt to create a decent, healthy environment I could grow in.

The same thing that happened to Wallace and Woodfox happened to me. It was personal. Who ever has power, as incompetent and they are, can just decide to make someone guilty and imprison them. The “family” is the easiest place this is done. “Parents” or a “parent” as in my case because my father was out of the house by the time I was 6, who are not emotionally mature, which most are not, can easily respond from a place of Personal and be triggered by a child’s healthy resistance and determination to assert their separateness.

I’ve read and studied many books on emotional and relationship health over the decades for this exact reason. It doesn’t matter who someone is or what their role in life is, if they’re emotionally immature and developmentally arrested they will abuse their power and do to innocent people what warden, Burl Cain and attorney general, Buddy Caldwell did to the Angola 3. The same thing my mother did to me. The very people depended upon to protect our rights, stand for truth and justice are doing the exact OPPOSITE and VIOLATING them instead!

I felt psychologically imprisoned my entire life not just from having my rights violated in my house by my “parent” but, when I stood up to that abusive parent I was guilted again by neighbors and other “adults” around me who all made excuses and let off the very person who is supposed to be there for me to rely on. So many people are programmed to let those in “power” off, even when they’re clearly wrong and abusive. People are completely Unconscious. This is what must be addressed. It’s the actions and the behaviors that need to be paid attention to, not what position a person holds. I call it, looking at the ingredients instead of the packaging. Look beneath the surface to who the person is, not what’s on the outside, like you would if you were on a date with someone.

Just as in the case of 28 year old Akai Gurley here in Brooklyn, NY, killed by NYPD Peter Liang last Nov when Peter Liang mistakenly fired his gun which ricocheted off a stairwell wall hitting Gurley in the chest killing him. Asians started rallying around Asian Peter Liang calling to get the conviction dropped saying it was accidental. The Aunt of Akai Gurley points out the same fact that I tried pointing out decades ago when people said the same thing about my mother, “oh, her abuse was unintentional, She didn’t mean to cause harm”, or “she couldn’t raise you good because nobody taught her”. All these “excuses” are Betrayals and NOT things ADULTS should be telling a child. Adults these days are total LOSERS and COWARDS and pretty soon it will be revealed because Nature does not tolerate excuses. People are Clearly Advocating then, being allowed to pass down their incompetence. They, literally, were telling me right to my face, just like in the case of Woodfox and Wallace, that people in “power” can do what ever they want and get away with it. The “adults”, instead of stepping up to the bar and being the smart, role model people children need and deserve, instead, guilt a child into submission and brainwash them into accepting garbage and abuse. THIS IS THE WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN.

In Akai Gurley’s case, his Aunt, Hertencia Petersen addressed the Asians rallying to let off Peter Liang telling them that if it was such a mistake killing her nephew then why didn’t Peter Liang do anything to help Akai Gurley? Why didn’t Peter Liang call for help instead of worrying about his job and calling his Union rep instead? Why didn’t Peter Liang administer CPR on Akai Gurley himself as he is trained instead of an untrained downstairs neighbor doing it?

The VERY SAME point I was left on my own to make as a CHILD to the “adults” I was surrounded by when they through all the Lame reasons not ONE adult could be there for you. If my mother was so unintentional, then why didn’t she apologies, why didn’t she do anything to make up for the harm she clearly caused? Why didn’t she admit responsibility as she was, instead of trying to save herself and pawn the responsibility onto me, the total innocent one? Why didn’t she ever do anything to change her behavior and try to do better? Instead, she just kept right on doing the same behavior for the rest of her life.

Is natural law going to simply be suspended because a “parent” calls in sick indefinitely? Is a child magically going to not have needs that must be met just because a “parent” is incompetent and emotionally unfit? People think if they have excuses natural law is going to just be suspended and let them off the hook. Nature will function no matter what and people will need what they need and deserve what they deserve irregardless of whether or not someone in power likes it or not.

All people deserve to be healthy and free. All people deserve to grow to be their unique selves and share their unique talents and gifts with the world. For anyone to assert themselves and their spirit, especially in conditions of abuse and brutality, is called NORMAL and HEALTHY. For a warden or a “parent” to want to crush a person simply for being healthy and asserting their rights, self worth and practice Black Pantherism because they feel threatened and get off on using their power to violate people’s rights is the most egregious abuse of power there is. These people in power are there to UPHOLD LAWS, UPHOLD JUSTICE, PROTECT PEOPLE’S RIGHTS, NOT VIOLATE THEM. How this Attorney General got away with it is also due to the fact that people in the “justice” system bow to people in power worse than the Angola 3 did. Why doesn’t someone in the Justice system in Louisiana step up and say something about the abuse of power that’s going on to get the warden and AG held accountable?

When are people going to function according to nature and health instead of what’s on the surface? This judge completely disregarded LAW, DUE PROCESS, the CONSTITUTION and made a case personal! That’s OUTRAGEOUS! And those responsible for keeping Albert Woodfox in Solitary for 43 years need to be arrested and placed in Solitary themselves!