The Weinstein revelations,, A larger Abusive relationship, like the “family” I’ve tried speaking about since the 70’s

More and more I hear stories and reports of abuse and people having the same experiences that I and many other vulnerable, innocent children do in their own homes.

 I’m writing these blogs and making ‎video blogs on my youtube channel, April Watters, because I could not speak out about these issues for most of my life. Or, if you spoke it, I was guilted, shamed further, I was told to just “get over it”.

I’m writing this blog because people who are even more vulnerable than those abused by Harvey Weinstein do not get the attention‎ they so desperately need and deserve. People, adults today and many children who have it worse than I did, I am speaking out for. Child abuse and dysfunction in the “home” has long been too normalized.

The abusive “family” has spread like the wild fires and nothing has been done for millions of the most vulnerable who have no way to speak out. They become part of the problem.

Imagine this; those who are meant to give the innocent the support and leverage they require are the very ones preying on them instead. What is that creating? Like Climate breakdown, an human environmental disaster has been created for decades and those who are meant to be the future are being enslaved by very sick people. It happens on all levels.

Like deforestation, we have De Humanization. A total enslavement of the most vulnerable instead of those who have the support to go up against abuse of power, the succumb to it instead.

This is an environmental disaster on epic proportions. The women who have been abused by Weinstein speak of needing the job and not reporting being raped by Weinstein. A larger Abusive “family” scenario. With so many people being born to “familiesl , “parents” who can’t raised and teach their children to have some leverage and to resist those in power rather than bowing and “needing” them nature and health are being totally destroyed.

There are NO real adults!! No REAL mature, responsible humans and only adult children and preditors.

In an interview on Democracy Now Tomi- Ann Roberts described her encounter with Weinstein over 30 yrs ago when she was 20 in 1984, same age as myself, and the fight, flight or freeze response that occurs when faced with an abusive situation and person. She spoke about the psychological exit stradegy of putting the fault on herself who was not ready or up to what Weinstein wanted her to do.

This is the same Debt Economy I speak about and try to teach about the abusive “family”. So to not “poke the bear” as Tomi-Ann put it, she put the blame on herself to make her exit. This is what automatically happens to children in many abusive siutaions, not all. They “need” the person in power so they go into Debt and make the abuse their fault and bail out the abuser. This is such an important point for people to understand. The same as a body going into shock, the blood is taken from the parts of the body that the body can survive without, limbs, extremities, and send it to the parts the body can’t survive without like the heart, brain, lungs.

Due to our Disaster Capitalism system, this way of “relating” will continue to become the norm and accelerate like the wild fires in California.

A child is trapped in the situation of abusive “parents” and can’t leave unless someone intervenes. If not, the child’s energy and psyche are “bled out” and the child repeatedly puts the abuser over themselves thereby, “funding” their own abuse. Without someone there for the vulnerable, they will bleed out completely and be left with no sense of self. There body and soul will be taken over and used completely by the abuser‎. This is exactly what those in “power” want.

Louise Godbold expressed her experiences of assault by Weinstein and how she didn’t say anything because she felt it would be “career suicide” since she was trying to get a start in the film industry.

I just want to stop here and again point out the feeling of being trapped with no choice but to feel one has to put up with abuse if you want to pursue ones “dream”. Those in power take advantage of the dreams, aspirations and out right desperation of those trying to do what is their right in life to do,

I have to point out how this happens in “homes” by abusive “parents” exactly the same way. Sick people get off on having power and control over the vulnerable and take total advantage of the dependence of a person. In fact, the more someone in a “power” position knows that a person is vulnerable and despearte, the more likely they are to abuse the situation and the person. And that makes children a prime target.

The family, even if parents are not abusive but, lack the ability ‎to give their child leverage because they don’t have any creates desperate people primed to be abused and taken advantage of by the system. The firewall of Family has been eroded.

Due to growing up in abuse at an early age I was aware and on the look out for abuse where ever I went. I expected it since I was used to it and no relative or neighbor taught me otherwise. I was on my own; hypervigilant.

Louise Godbold was asked why women of assault carry the shame of the abuser. She responded by siting our societal conditioning, parenting and of being compliant.

This is what happens in “families” also. Children are trained to carry the psych debt of guilt & shame that does not belong to them from the toxic emotions of “parents” who use their own children the same way Weinstein did. ‎It’s all part of our debtors prison system. The same reason the Banks get Bailed out and the public gets Sold Out. People are not taught to stand up to abusers but to take on and carry the debt. There would need to be someone there for the vulnerable to teach them to stand up and give the shame back to the abuser.

It’s the emotional level of Texaco dumping pollution in the Amazon or the BP Oil spill.

Louise Godbold sited the Adverse Child Experience study and states that abused and traumatized children are more likely to be victimized later in life.

Louise stated that victims carry the shame because there is no one countering it. There’s no one on the victims side. Something I’ve been saying for decades.

She goes onto say how family and friends, thinking they’re giving you good advice tell you, don’t rock the boat and don’t get involved when that’s the opposite of what the abused need. They need leverage and encouragement to speak and stand up. It’s basic physics. An object or person in motion stays in motion unless acted on by an outside source. Weinstein gets all the momentum and clearing of the pavement for his abusive actions while those engaging in Right action get friction. It needs to be turned the other way around. ‎That takes conscious effort and work.

Louise spoke again about fight, flight or freeze and how we need to educate about trauma. What fight,flight,freeze illustrates is the level of human Climate Breakdown we’ve advanced to similar to polar bears having to swim longer to find ice.

We can’t allow abuse to be normalized.

Louise Godbold spoke of the healthy pain and anger that comes from not being believed for over 2 decades. ‎How she would have loved for someone to tell her that she was acting bravely in speaking out rather than being told to sit down and shut up, not to make any waves.

Well, people need to understand, we need the kind of waves made by those standing up against abussers and Not the waves made By the abuser!

Why do so many people make those standing up against abuse wrong and the abusers actions go unchallenged? I’ve asked this question for decades. Those around me seem to have the attitude that not standing up is going to solve problems when all it does is increase them. How did people get so disoriented and lacking in courage?

Irin Carmon expressed how courageous the women were who spoke out. ‎She spoke about Ronin Farrow’s attempts at getting this stroy of Weinsteins abuse published. She said the standard of corraborating stories is so high that it ends up revictimizing the victims. We have to ask ourselves why? Who is setting the standard? The abusers that’s why.

Irin Carmon said how Weinstein “bought off people who were an impediment to him”‎. This is what $ does. Creates a false reality disconneced from the real one because so many people put fake $ over truth and what’s right. Fake $ is creating a human climate breakdown because it is at the expense of real justice. It’s not just the earth’s climate being destroyed.

Irin said how Weinstein attended the women’s march in Utah and showed how people like Weinstein can use issues to cloak their misdeeds. Hiding their abuses in actions contrary to who they really are.

This is why I’ve practiced and talk about mindfulness, meditation and yoga which is all about looking close, paying attention and which is all about incorporating in nature’s process rather than skipping over it which is exactly what the $ system doesn’t want. Taking the time to look is the enemy of this system.

So, watch out for people who claim to be your allies, is her point. The same point I’ve been making about the abusive “family” for decades.

Then the co host of Democracy Now, Naimeen Scheike‎ read something written by Weinsteins secratary about the unequal power of herself in age and position as Weinstein. He a “10 and herself a 0”.

Again I want to get people to think about what abused children go through with their own “parents”. We simply do not hear about it and not enough is being done to deal with abuse in any environment. If older people and people in the spotlight are experiencing such blatant abuses, imagine what‎ horrible abuses children go through and have no way to express? I encourage people to watch Conspiracy of Silence banned Documentary on youtube.

“It’s the very abuse of power” that Weinstein liked in these scenarios, not that he liked pretty girls, Carmon said.

She then spoke of the actress, Ambra Battilana Gutierrez, who wore a wire for the NYPD and returned to Weinstein’s place to gain evidence ‎of harassment and got it only for the “prosecution”, Cy Vance to not prosecute Weinstein and receive 10k a couple of days later.

They are speaking about the exact issues children deal with everyday with abusive “parents” and have NO power to do anything about it. They are ground up by this system which lowers the bar for everyone else. Like human soil erosion.

I’m still trying to recover from trauma to this day. It’s a crisis that there is NO safe place and real help for vulnerable people who have been abused to go to. This is Nothing other than a Health Crisis and Psychological Climate Breakdown! It’s No different than destroying the planet. Plain and simple. If it isn’t countered, we will destroy ourselves.


NYPD Peter Liang trial for accidentally shooting to death Akai Gurley

After giving statement to the press during a lunch break on Monday, the aunt of Akai Gurley who was shot and killed by a bullet fired accidentally by NYPD Peter Liang Nov 20 2014 in the pink houses in east NY Brooklyn while on vertical patrol.

I sat for the first day of trial on Monday for NYPD cop, I don’t use the term Officer, Peter Liang who fired his gun that ricocheted off a stair well wall hitting Akai Gurley in the chest killing him.

 November 20, 2014 at the Pink Houses, 2724 Linden Blvd. in east NY Akai Gurley and his girlfriend Melissa Butler took the stairs when the elevator took too long at around 11pm at night. Peter Liang and his partner, Shaun Landau, were ‎doing vertical patrol.
 The lighting in the stair well at the Pink Houses ‎on the 7th fl were out. Possibly a second fl also, that wasn’t clear. However, there was no threat, no crime, no call on radio and yet Peter Liang had his gun drawn and finger on the trigger.
 The prosecuting attorney did a good job during opening statement. Marc Fliedner made the point that NYPD modified the trigger on their guns, the 9MM Semi auto, making it harder to fire the gun by making it harder to pull the trigger. He said PL violated training by having his gun out. The prosecutor got down on his knee in front of the jury illustrating how PL didn’t even get close to Akai Gurley to help him in anyway after shooting him as AG lay bleeding on the stairwell landing. The fact that PL didn’t do anything to help AG after “accidentally” shooting him was no accident.
That is also what’s being argued. That also makes PL guilty.
 The words of PL’s partner were, “What the fuck just happened?” PL’s response was “I shot by accident”.  Then, the fact that PL was more concerned with losing his job and contacting the union instead of radioing  the shooting and calling for help. The 2 partners argued for 4 mins not even knowing someone was shot and that Akai Gurley ran down the 2 flights then lay bleeding on the 5th Fl landing.
 It ended up being the 4th fl neighbor, Melissa Lopez, who was asked to call 911 by AG’s girlfriend‎, Melissa Butler. Melissa Lopez didn’t even know it was the 2 cops who appeared at the 5th fl landing while she was on the call with 911 who were responsible for the shooting. She thought they showed up as a result of her 911 call.
 ‎ The defense attorney, in her opening statement, asked the jury to find the defendant innocent after she went through a mirade of lame excuses; it’s a “high crime” area, that they were on their way to the roof where it’s a known crime area. Wall St is a high crime area, the pink houses is a by-product. Places like the pink houses are there to give people like Peter Liang the belief that he’s “doing” something, has a job which is nothing more than keeping the “poor” exactly where they are and the “rich”, really insane Madmen, where they are.
 Other excuses were the lights out in the stair well, that PL was a rookie with little time on the job, ‎that the 2 cops just came from a previous stressful call, etc.

 The fact that the defense ‎even thinks that PL should be set free, totally innocent of any wrong doing when the simple fact is, that he fired a shot that killed a human being, is just adding insult to injury.

Akai Gurley’s aunt, Hertencia Petersen, walking with supporters during lunch break on Monday, the first day of trial for the NYPD cop who fired a shot that killed Akai Gurley.
 People in positions of power who claim to be there to serve & protect, which many are realizing is simply not true. The system is all about profit. policing has become For Profit, the jails are now For Profit. There is no incentive for people to do what’s “right” because there’s no $$ in it.
 ‎ Again, this is the macro of the micro I’ve been speaking about since the early 70’s. Those who are supposed to be in a position of helping are doing the opposite and it’s those they’re supposed to be protecting who are picking up the tab for their incompetence. If that’s helping and protecting, thanks but, No Thanks! Not only does Akia Gurley end up shot dead, PL doesn’t call it in, doesn’t administer CPR and Now wants to get off scott Free!
 The message is clear. Those in power are NOT there for us, they’re there for THEM. It’s like being in a forced relationship with someone you know is not in your best interest and you can’t get out of it. Like “family”. Children don’t ask to be born or choose their parents.
 This is the same scenario I’ve been trying to point out all my life about “family”. If this is family, who needs enemies? The “family”, My “family”, parent(s) were exactly the same. You’re in a forced relationship with them who are clearly not in your best interest and you’re trapped. They’re there for themselves at your expense. The facts are the facts.
 All people did when I was a child was say to me “oh, you’re poor mother” when I tried expressing the abuse and harm I was suffering. Everyone around me was in on bailing out the perp. All people did was make excuses for the perp and allow the most vulnerable child take the fall. These are facts. There is no one there for you. All who should be there are not. They’re the opposite and sell you out. Those in “power” make the mess then when those to whom they’ve made the mess of respond justifiably They are the ones who get criminalized. There is no one there to help you become someone, No one there teaching you that you’re valuable, that you’re loved, cared for, that you matter, that you have value and that you have a RIGHT to stand up for yourself. It is any wonder there’s no one teaching the young the most important thing there is to learn? Is it any wonder the PTB want to break up the family? For exactly that reason, so they can have weakened, obedient people who are not strong. I have every right now to call out the poor treatment I had to deal with then and had NO ability to. It’s a social Avalanche when there is no reinforcement in place for the most vulnerable and the entire weight of society is crushing them.
 What’s incredible about the case of Akai Gurley and Peter Liang is that physics doesn’t lie. Akai Gurley is dead. That can’t be undone. And yet, despite that fact, there is a trial trying to get Peter Liang off. That makes no sense. He killed Akai Gurley. He admitted to firing the shot. How is this complicated?
 If PL gets off, all Hell should break loose!‎ This entire system is exactly the larger version of my “growing up”. The people in charge are the OPPOSITE of who they should be and use the people as a garbage dump for their error. All I heard as a kid was “oh, your poor mother, she couldn’t treat you right because no one taught her”. Think abou that. What kind of people teach a child to allow themselves to let the one person who they NEED to be there for them, to instead, let them off the hook? Everyone around is completely betraying that child. Leaving a child totally alone and making excuses for the lame parent. It’s sickening what people get away with. A child cannot afford to not have a healthy adult there for them. Are the laws of physics going to get suspended because the “parent” is incompetent and has a million and one excuses why they can’t treat a child the way that child deserves?  NO! That child will be forever harmed and their life completely altered and damaged by not having any healthy adult, leader there protecting and sticking up for them.
 Like the case of Peter Liang, who wants to get off for taking someone’s life, because, afterall, the people have no value. So what if PL killed Akai Gurley. The cops probably are taught that the public is the enemy and are out to get them which is why Liang had his gun out and his finger on the trigger in the first place. The public is there to generate revenue. That’s it. That’s clear.
 People can’t even have Families any more with partners and parents who truly do right by them never mind ‎having a system and police who give a shit about them.
 The system is so imbalanced to begin with. It’s completely an un equal playing field. Those who have no recourse and no leverage are being thrown  ‎to the “wolves”. I don’t like using animals to make these kinds of point because humans are worse.
 Noche Diaz, and activist and demonstrator from Stop Mass Incarceration and the Revolutionary Communist Party is being threatened with a ridiculous amount of jail time for protesting!  ‎He had a court date this morning. They were looking to give him something like 13 years!
 What kind of system are we living in where “cops” can get off for MURDER and Noche Diaz can see over 10 for protesting???
 I lived in a house that nearly drove me to madness when I was a child. A CHILD has NO Recourse! THERE IS NO WHERE TO TURN! THERE IS NO ONE TO TURN TO when the system has deteriorated so badly, morals, values, family has been sold for profit. “Parents”‎, relatives and neighbors are such cowards they allow a child to take the fall. The public has become so complacent and void of any kind of fitness and standards whatsoever.
 I had NO eyelashes from the 2nd to the 5th grade due to stress. I had no one by myself to stand up for me from the age of 6 on because I was smart enough to speak out about growing up in an unhealthy environment. How dare you be healthy and their sick and abusive environment not be good enough for you. How dare your body have healthy responses to the unacceptable conditions and treatment they force you to live in. How dare people like Kalief Browder not be able to stand the horror and torture of being innocent and kept in Rikers Island for “stealing a backpack” without charge or trial and not be able to deal with the beatings and abuse he was subjected to there. How dare Akai Gurley get in the way of Peter Liang’s bullet.
 How dare I feel I deserve justice and compensation for the abuse and harmful environment I was forced to endure as a child with NO “adult” with Any courage there for protection. I have no choice but to speak out now that I’m older on my own behalf because there was no one to do it for me who was entrusted to. As long as the young have no one there truly looking out for them they’re going to be crushed. ‎Like animals, people in the middle east, the vulnerable and the environment.
 Capitalism MUST end. The profit junkies who’ve hijacked all the $ and power must be brought down. And it must be done soon!
Hertencia Petersen, Akai Gurley’s aunt said at the #RiseUpOctober protest about Akai Gurley’s mother, “She has a hole in her heart that will never be healed”. This picture from Monday’s trial of Peter Liang outside during a lunch break Hertencia gives a statement to the press.